Lapsed Catholic? How do I come back?

Welcome. Whatever the reason you stopped practising your Catholic faith in the past, you can be sure of a warm welcome should you decide to start again. Many people return to the Church after a period of time, as they sense a spiritual emptiness in their lives which only Christ can fill, and they often find that not only have they changed, but the Church has developed also. Catholics have made special efforts since the Jubilee Year 2000 to learn from their mistakes and make it easier for people to see in them the love of Christ.

Perhaps the biggest obstacle many face to taking up their faith again is a feeling of guilt. Of course, if we have done something wrong, guilt is healthy provided it leads us to change our lives. Christ was known not for condemning people but for his kindness to sinners, and for unforgettable stories like the Prodigal Son returning to a lavish welcome. Jesus understands completely, even more than you do, why you left the Church and why you now would like to return. Despite all their failings, there are many Catholic priests and lay people who will show you that same understanding..

So what practical steps can you take? The most obvious is to go to Mass. Normally it is best to go to your parish church, but you are welcome to attend any church where you feel at home. Some parishes are obviously friendly and welcoming, while others will leave you very much to yourself if you prefer. The style of worship may also vary from one Mass to another.

Sooner or later you will want to speak to a priest about your situation. Again, you are welcome to speak to any priest: the important thing is that you feel he understands and accepts you. Many priests greet the people at the Church door after Sunday Mass, and this is a good time to introduce yourself briefly, but not perhaps to have a long conversation, as the priest may be distracted. Phone him up during the week and make an appointment to talk things over. Alternatively, there will be a set time for confessions, usually on a Saturday, when you can speak to him at greater length in the church. If you are not ready to speak to a priest, try finding a parishioner who may be able to answer some of your questions, or looking up the parish website for some of the activities which will enable you to explore Catholic faith, such as an Alpha course or “CaFE evening”.

One way or the other, celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) is the key step to taking up your faith again. Do not think of Confession as a list of sins but as an opportunity to tell Jesus Christ your story through the priest. Of course there will be particular sins you will want to mention, but they will make more sense in the context of your story. Do not be afraid if you have been away for a long time: priests are always very moved when someone begins, “Father, it is 20 years since my last Confession…” The sense of joy and healing that this sacrament gives is hard to describe, and it brings with it the great blessing that you can begin receiving communion again.

You may still have some questions about various aspects of Catholic faith and life. This is perfectly normal, since faith in the living God will always be a challenge to our human ways of thinking and acting. If you cannot find help locally in thinking these things out, the Catholic Enquiry Office of England and Wales is there to help (020 8458 3316; enquiries@life4seekers.co.uk). Also see 'Come Home for Christmas'